Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
