Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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