i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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