Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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