Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
