Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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