You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
