Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Let's paint friendship bongs
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
