Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
