Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
