it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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