I hate all girls vehemently.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The air was thick with penises
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
