I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
