DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
