Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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