Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
