It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
