ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
