yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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