I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
