That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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