Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she woke up with a sticky ear
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
