If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
