Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
