ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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