I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
