Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
