you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
