Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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