how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think a kid would responsible me up
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
