Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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