there's paper in my vomit.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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