He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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