doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
