I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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