found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
