remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
