Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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