i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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