She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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