Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
