I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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