my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
