It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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