Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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