Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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