Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
