I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
