return my video game
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
