Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
