you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
