are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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