everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
