I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
